Roasted Crispy Goodness: I can't wait to be back

If I were someone to ever undertake a cleanse, now would be a great time. Even looking at food brings on a large bout of queasiness. Meat consumption attempt deux was another epic failure. Actually, consumption is far too grand of a term. Let’s call it a nibble, or as the Italians say a spuntino. 

Sunday evening after attempting and failing to bowl at three different alleys, we assuaged our annoyance with pizza from Otto. With its snappy-thin gluten free crust, the pizzas always just bring on nostalgia with a heaping dose of "this is so much better than I thought pizza could taste." We ordered the Ricotta, tomato, basil eggplant (my choice) and a chicken asiago… I tried half of a half of a small piece of pizza with most of the chicken taken off…

Well three days later, my normally insatiable stomach has been tossing like trash in the ocean. My diet has been primarily gatorade, broth and animal crackers. Toast for breakfast? Too rich for this palette. I am so done with this nonsense. 

I look forward to returning to not so stormy stomachs and sleeping less than 15 hours in a day. In hopes that this isn’t far in the future, I will celebrate my good ole pal tofu. Not the forgettable mush that is associated with this amorphous protein or the “grilled tamari” cubes that Whole Foods sadly sells at its prepared food bar. They taste like cardboard and disappointment. These roasted, crispy bites were inspired by Chef Jeff at Flour. He would make trays of these delicious cubes for the roasted veg and quinoa salad. About a third of each tray would mysteriously vanish… I plead the fifth as to its whereabouts.

I typically make two at a time; no one likes to be alone!

Tamari Tofu

1 Package of Extra Firm Tofu

1/2c Regular or Reduced Sodium Tamari

1/4 C Rice Vinegar

2 tsp of Toasted Sesame Oil( I use Trader Joe’s) or 

Wasabi Optional

Set Oven to 400

Unwrap Tofu from container and drain all fluid. Wrap the Tofu in paper towel and place under a weight for 10 minutes or more.

Very Pressing Issues

Combine Tamari, Rice Vinegar, Wasabi and Toasted Oil in a Large Gladware or Tupper container
Dice Tofu into your preferred size: I go with 5 length wise cuts and two width wise cuts

Add Tofu to a tupperware and gently toss to coat

Marinate for at least 15 minutes

While it marinates, line a pan with parchment paper or tin foil. Then using a slotted spoon or spatula, add the Tofu to the pan. Reserve any remaining marinade for roasting vegetables

Roast in the Oven for 20 minutes. Switch to the broiler for the remaining five minutes for a crispy crust.
Voila!

It Ain't Easy being Queasy

Yesterday was the roughest of days. I woke up with a stomach splitting, world-redefining pain in my stomach. Welp, no surprises what that’s from. The previous night, I had decided to forego my almost four years of vegetarianism. There was going to be stir-fry and it was going to have chicken. I know I know, absolutely wild.

Conclusion? I overdid it...by a country mile. Now lacking the enzymes to break down meat in my stomach, I spent the next 24 hours wondering if Death by chicken would be written on my tombstone. How depressing.

Immediately following my gastric wake up call, the next three minutes of consciousness included a phone call from the police asking me to move my car, an email from a student of mind wondering if I could get a recommendation to her by that morning and in my haste to move my car, I didn’t throw a jacket on and subsequently trysted with hypothermia. Upon returning to bed, I promptly passed out for the next three hours.

The roaring gut-tumult that governed my day kept me bedridden like a 17th century aristocrat. My attempt at going for a run, admittedly foolish in its conception, was quickly ki-boshed (as my mother would say) when I almost fell over my tights on.

The only real food I managed yesterday after 20+ hours of misery was miso soup. Miso is incredibly gentle on the stomach and is known for its healing properties. Given my loopiness by 9 pm, dunking mushrooms, spinach and tofu in miso broth was just about all I could muster.

Apparently this simple soup was a tonic to my woes; I’m feeling much better this morning. Let’s see if I can put my pants on without falling over. It’s the sign of a great day.

Reimagining the Caramel Delight

On behalf of a really important birthday this past weekend, I pursued a rather challenging endeavor. I wanted not just any cake, but one that would taste light hearted and luscious. Gluten free but not fun free. A giant caramel delight? Sure. Why the heck not?

When I think of girl scout cookies, the crinkly silver paper and stolen late-night treats come to mind. Study sessions and thin mints, dance practice and short breads. 

I wanted to celebrate the person that makes me feel the joy that accompanies a stolen cookie; no-holds-barred happiness. He makes my days infinitely more delightful; just like the confectionary counterpart. 

There are a few moving parts here but with a good prep it wont take long:

Dairy Free Ganache

1 Can of Coconut Milk

1 Can of Coconut Cream (not light)

16 oz Dark Chocolate (60-70%) 

Pour contents of both cans into a pot and bring to a boil

While the coconut milks and cream are coming to a boil, chop chocolate into small pieces (or use Dark chocolate chips) and place in a large bowl

Once the Cream comes to a boil, pour over chocolate and let sit for 5 minutes without stirring

Gently fold with a whisk until it is a uniform chocolate consistency.
The less vigorously you stir the better- it keeps the ganache glossy!

Refrigerate!

German Chocolate Cake (adapted from German Chocolate Cake in Baked A New Frontier in Baking)

Sift and Put Aside

350g  AP Gluten Free Mix a la Gluten Free Girl

3/4 Cup Cocoa Powder

1.5 tsp Baking Powder

.5 tsp Baking Soda

1.5 tsp Salt

2.5 Sticks of Butter or Earth Balance Buttery Sticks for DF Version

1 C of Raw Turbinado Sugar

5 Eggs

2 tsps Vanilla Extract

1 Cup of Buttermilk or coconut milk with 1 tbs of lemon juice or apple cider vinegar

1 Cup of Coffee

Set Oven to 350 and grease a bundt pan or two nine inch cake pans and set aside

Cream butter and sugar for 5 minutes on high.  You want to aerate the butter: Sugar crystals need to cut the butter for that to occur.  

Melt the chocolate in a double boiler or in 30 second spurts in the microwave; mixing after each burst of heat. Set aside

Whisk together coffee and buttermilk in a small bowl and set aside

Scrape the sides of the bowl and crack and add eggs one at a time to the butter and sugar until each is incorporated. 

In three additions, add your buttermilk+coffee mixture and sifted dry ingredients. Start and End with the dry ingredients. (Just mix until you see a few streaks of flour remaining)

Add Vanilla extract and fold the remaining batter with a spatula. (Make sure you unearth the flour and butter that will inevitably be trapped at the bottom of the bowl)

Add the now room temperature chocolate ( I used 60% Caillebaut Organic Dark Chocolate)

Pour the batter into the pan and set on center rack of oven to bake for 55-58 minutes (I used a single bundt pan to get the hole-in-the-middle effect,.. If you use two 9-inch cake pans, it will take roughly 30-35 minutes

Want to make sure that GF cake is done? Use a Candy Thermometer to temp the cake: it should be between 207-209 degrees for perfect doneness!

I freeze my cakes to allow for easier slicing and frosting and I suggest you do the same! Two hours is perfect for a semi-solid hardness that will cut cleanly.

Coconut, Pecan Goo

1 Cup of Evaporated Milk

1 tsp Sea Salt

1 and 1/3 C Roasted Pecan Bits, 

1 1/3 Cups of Toasted Coconut

1 Cup of Raw Turbinado Sugar or Sucanat

1 tablespoon of Vanilla Extract

1 Stick of Earth balance or Butter

Preheat oven to 300 degrees, line a baking sheet with parchment paper.

Spread half of the coconut evenly across the pan and roast for 3 minutes jostle the coconut with your hand to move the browned bits toward the center and toast for another 2 minutes. Remove from oven and let cool; note your kitchen is going to smell like a tropical vacation.

Cut the butter into small pieces and add to a large saucepan along with sugar, evaporated milk, vanilla and egg yolks. With the heat on medium high, bring the mixture to a boil, while stirring constantly. When it starts to feel like sludge and your whisk or spoon is encountering resistance, remove from stove and add in the toasted and untoasted coconut and pecans. Let cool, then refrigerate.

Some assembly required:

While the cake is freezing, remove 1/2 of your DF ganache from the fridge. 
Place in the bowl of a stand mixer or hand mixer and whisk until it becomes light and fluffy like a frosting.

The other half of your ganache is going to be heated for covering the cake, just like a Samoa.

Heat that in the microwave for 30 seconds and check the consistency. Liquid-y? Perfect if not repeat the bursts of microwaving until its a liquid again.

Remove cake from freezer and cut into two halves if you used a bundt pan. Two nine inches? You are already good to go. 
Place one layer on a cake round or plate and frost with the whipped ganache. Top that layer of frosting with the other half of the cake. If using two 9 inches, I suggest inverting the cake so the flat surface lies on top. This will make glazing infinitely easier.

Score the Cake to make sure your layers will be straight!

Then with the melted ganache, glaze the cake. Here is a fantastic instructional video if you need some pointers. 

YOU ARE ALMOST DONE!!!

The pecan goo should be a thick layer on top of the cake. You will find that perfection in this portion actually takes away from the cake’s resemblance to a Samoa. So plop it on but don't pat it down.

Last but not least, drizzle remaining liquid ganache in lines over the top. There you have it. A birthday Samoa and a happy boyfriend/friends/family/yourself.

  

The cake will keep in an airtight container for two days but I doubt it’ll be around that long.

Cooking Artichokes is Not Scary

The sharp spiny tips of the artichoke poked my mom in the hand as if to say, “Let’s battle.” I too however, was ready to fight. I have been afraid of the artichoke for some time now. Unless jarred and marinated, artichokes had yet to find their way into my cooking repertoire.

I have eaten the deliciously crisped leaves of the Roman style artichoke; the Jewish ghetto is the best place to find these beauties and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I however naysay the necessity of frying; I wanted a more healthful preparation of this beauty. So I rolled my sleeves up and prepared to disembody the beast.

Thanks to Deb’s in depth post, I didn’t fear the cleaning process. I peeled off the outside layers, gave the other leaves a haircut and trimmed the stem.

Opening up the artichoke is a technicolor experience. The vivid greens fade to cream and then BAM! A fuschia crescendo awaits. Instead of boiling the veg, I stuffed it silly with minced garlic, salt and pepper and fresh sage.

She roasted away at a 425 degree oven for an hour and the results were delectable. Tender, meaty leaves that you could snap off and rake with your teeth. Then a succulent heart, tucked beneath the leaves became the star of my dinner. I diced it up, added it to a “pasta” made of sauteed parsnip, zucchini and carrot noodles and devoured every.last.bite. Who knew facing your kitchen demons would be so tasty?

Roasted Garlic and Sage Artichoke with Pesto Vegetable Noodles

Serves 2

Roasted Artichokes

1 Medium Artichoke Trimmed

4 Cloves of Garlic

½ Red Onion

Noodles

2 Carrots

2 Parsnips

2 Smallish Zucchini

Lemon

Sage

Salt

Pepper

Olive Oil

Earth Balance

Cinnamon

Nutmeg

Balsamic Vinegar

1. After setting the oven to 425, use Deb’s tutorial Here to trim your artichoke

2. Mince 4-5 cloves of garlic and a handful of sage

3. Peel back your artichoke layers slightly and stuff them intermittently with spices and garlic. Also give it some salt and pepper loving

4. Dice up your onion

5. Lay down a healthy piece of tinfoil and place artichoke and onions in the center and drizzle with olive oil and lemon juice. Unceremoniously wrap the hole package up and place in oven on center rack for 1 hour

Veggie Noodles- I had some Pesto in the fridge that I had made several days ago but you can substitute store bought or make a batch of your own! I timed this so I had ten minutes left on the artichoke when I started prepping my veggies

1. Rinse the veggies and grab a peeler. Y shaped is best here but both work! Peel Your veggies into thin slivers from one end to the other. (I used the Longest veggies I could find)

2. Glaze the pan with a capful of olive oil. Once heated (about 2 min on med high) Add salt pepper, and spices for about 30 seconds. Add a .5 tbsp of Earth Balance, margarine or butter and add your noodles.

3. You will have more noodles than pan space but just turn them frequently with tongs. They cook Down substantially.

4. Once they are looking al dente noodle-y, 4-5 minutes, Remove them from the pan.

5. De leaf your artichoke to get to the heart, It will pop out of the center with a little pressure on the stem. Dice him up and add him to the pan along with your pesto (1-2 tbsp) and A half cup of water.

6. After giving the sauce a stir, add your noodles back to the pan and coat them with the sauce.

7. To Serve add a drop of lemon juice, sea salt, and Cracked black Pepper!